white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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