i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
