The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
