How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize