After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
