turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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