A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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