i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
