I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize