Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
