dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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