i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
