just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
