Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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