your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize