They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
