stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
