so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
