is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize