he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
