today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
