who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
