Someone shit on the floor
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
