tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
