Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
