i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We have started to decorate penises.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
