woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
