Cold hands, warm shart.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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