That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
