My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
