i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
