He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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