Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
