Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
