My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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