Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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