One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize