'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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