Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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