some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
