Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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