At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
