Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
