Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Randomize
