he puts the penis in happiness.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
