we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
