So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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