i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
