In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize