just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize