dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize