Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
