I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
