matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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