Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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