its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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