brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
