Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
