please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
