Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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