Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch

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(604): View more from British Columbia

there's paper in my vomit.

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(214): View more from Texas

come over

(1-214): View more from Texas

yeah sure

(1-214): View more from Texas

wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10

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(606): View more from Kentucky

His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.

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(214): View more from Texas

Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again

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(513): View more from Ohio

he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.

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