he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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