and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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