I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize