I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
false alarm, still single
Randomize
